Tonight
The muse decided to sit on my shoulder
And softly whisper names in my ear
I can’t help the wistful smile
As I see with adult eyes
One by one
The girls and women that I’ve loved
From inside the closet
Classmates from high school…and college
Softball teammates…and competitors
Older than me… and some younger
A few coworkers… and two bosses
Some married with children
Diverse and unique each one
They were the girls and women I’ve loved
From inside the closet
Far be it for me to name
The girls and women that I’ve loved
From inside the closet
I just know
They were special to me
In all the sweet innocence of those days
Before I understood and accepted
I was a woman who loved women
If I knew then what I know now
Would it have made a difference?
Could it have made a difference?
Should it have made a difference?
My heart says maybe, then maybe not
My head tells me I’ll never know
It was safer then to love them
From inside the closet
Of all the girls and women that I’ve loved
From inside the closet
Only a handful know the truth of now
That I am a woman who loves women
Their friendship I dearly cherish
Yet I can’t help but wonder
About all the others through the years
Whose memories I hold close to my heart
Would they ever know?
Could they ever know?
Should they ever know?
My heart says maybe, then maybe not
My head tells me I’ll never know
So until the day comes, if ever
And I meet them face to face again
I’ll go on loving them from inside the closet
Lyrics
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven’s love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem’ry bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don’t waste a breath, don’t shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don’t wait for me
Above the universe you’ll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won’t forget
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light
Under the stoic glare of the sun goddess
A golden winged eagle soars
Chasing and riding the air drafts
Echoing of vaticinated dreams
This solitary flight a symbolism
Of hope and wistful yearning
Yet also tempered by a resource
Of inner wisdom and patience
A tangible thirst for diversity
And the knowledge that there will be
Crossroads in the approaching evergeen horizon
Which will consecutively measure the balance
Of prowess and vunerability
Perfection
Is not the gauntleted wrist this eagle seeks
But rather….
That bright spark of recognition
Twin soul flames
Whose reflections are mirrored
Deeper than a mere idyllic lagoon
Stripped of supersitious murmurs…
Untarnished by blood magic…
No stranger shall She be
When talons grasp Her gloved wrist
For every nuance of Her Power will flow
Entrancing every aperture
Until the soul quakes joyfully at the intensity
Transforming ordinary ladders
Into glorious stairways
To the cosmic heavens
raw
powerful
force
loud
deep
drumming
rhythm
hypnotizing
echoing
primal magic
glorious
beautiful
white cascades
spilling
sunlite spray
creating
rainbow cloud
spellbound
and
shivering
in
awed homage
we stood
on the boat’s deck
faces upturned
receiving
the blessing of
the Niagara mists
Golden eagle wings
Soar this crisp November sky
One final flight of retrospection
Towards the horizon of healing
One by one with each beat of golden wings
Each rhapsody of heartsong
Fades somewhat into the distance
Carried by the winds of memory…
The thunder of three heartbeats
Dulls into whispers of sweet echoes
Retreating into the mists of love torn asunder….
Wise eagle eyes now look and see
The true many sided complex portrait of you
Yet I do not regret the splurges of intense sharing
Because I know
The pure inner essence that was you and I
Recognized
Merged
Entwined
For one brief moment in time
Transcending the soul scarred landscapes
Of our past travels
Some long ago prophecy is fulfilled….
We both acknowledge and cannot deny
This primeval connection that lies between us
But we now have our separate destinies
To our own selves we must be true
Without masks
Tempered by harsh lessons learned
Perhaps the gods and goddesses will now be satisfied
That this bijou cup shall remain untouched….
Fare thee well,
Warrior Woman of My Heart
You will be a perpetual flame
Burning in my soul
