Never one to say my actions, when not, were above board
I was, I admit, an ass in both judgment and word
Presumptive condemnation that was far out of line
Correction was called for and I would not whine
The Guides let me know in quite eloquent terms
Such behavior as mine any teacher would spurn
Then we met after the film, you and I
My apology was sincerely meant a wounded ego to ply
You seemed to accept it, and yet were aloof
However, of duplicity I had no actual proof
Until you got up, abruptly, to leave
And I asked, needing understanding to sieve,
When we’d be meeting again
Your teachings once more my growth would send
And then … you spoke words so cruel
With each and every syllable came new fuel
I had apologized, yes, but it wasn’t the first time
My prima donna words and actions were far out of line
You had to think it over, if we’d be meeting again,
Words I had never heard you say to me till then
I was given no warning, no second chance
Never had you spoken thus and left me askance
I spoke no word in my own defence
Silently I listened with no show of pretense
Then you hugged me and left
And in that hug I was at last bereft
Of thought, defense, or word
And wept great gulping sobs that you never heard
You left me alone in pain and in grief
That is what is seemed so utterly beyond belief
I had been miscreant I knew
And your tone so gentle as to give a new view
Of the teacher I had come to trust and to love
One who had taught me to soar and reach above
For your words sliced through my soul with utmost precision
Your scalpel of words making the incision
Leaving me there on the table bleeding
Of the anguish within you were beyond heeding
Left alone feeling lower than low
A gentler hand found me and took me in tow
Reminding me I was a person of worth
A child of the Goddess whose love fills the earth
From you not a single word do I hear
Uncaring, I think, that now I had cause your words to fear
How you could do what you did I do not know
No mercy or kindness to me did you show
All judgment aside, there is one thing I then knew,
In teaching me to be vulnerable ~ open ~ a new view
As I have grown to be with you ~ till then
When arrogant pride lost me my teacher and friend
Vulnerability brings power, I believe is what you said,
Out of our own wounds which facing we dread
Comes healing and strength to walk anew
Very well ~ so be it ~ if this be your wish
With trust betrayed I hope you will enjoy this dish
Served up bitter, cold, and hard like the words said to me
Though I sincerely doubt you are open enough to see
What your own judgment of me hath wrought
Or the lesson you so inadvertently taught
Oh yes, I behaved badly, and my repentance at once deep and sincere
Though you appeared to listen, not one word did you hear
So I leave you the words of a poet gone before me
“Thou has wounded the spirit that loved thee …
And hath taught me, at last, to forget thee”
© S. Ranea Wright 2009
All Rights Reserved
