Time… Distance… Space…
Faded and retreated
Before the sheer power
Of that moment of realization
As I knelt before Her

The very air enveloped us
In a mantle of intimacy
That only comes from a mutual journey
Of two souls answering the call
Of an ancient hunger

My eyes lifted to Hers
In perfect love and trust
My pledge and my promise
Freely given without reservation
Spoken from the heart
With both voice and hands
For Her eyes and ears alone

I bowed my head
Under the tender benediction of Her smile
Breathless in anticipation
Aware of only Her presence
And the destination of
The slender chain of gold

Slender chain of gold
Link in the unending circle of life
That brought us both to this golden path
Layered depths still open to exploratoin
Serene knowing of promises to unfold
As limits are conquered

Her slender chain of gold
Now encircles my neck
Tangible anchor and symbol
So light, so natural, so right
Yet so enriching and so deeply fulfilling
To my soul
And I am complete.

L. Kupfer
all rights reserved

And as you pray in your darkness
For wings to set you free
You are bound to your silent legacy

fiftysomething years ago
the dark legacy of a genetic curse
brought forth into the light
two sons…younger brothers striken
a father’s anguish turns inward
blinding him from seeing
the innocence of his firstborn daughter
she wished with all her little heart
to be daddy’s little girl
But she was met with silence…..

They will never understand
They wonder where did they go wrong
How could you be so selfish
Why can’t you get along

And then the sickness struck her
dim memories of hospital beds and IV’s
puzzled doctors scribbled
“unknown etiology” on chart
as she laid battling dehydration
the ravages of three days of high fever
treatment of choice uncertain
until visible evidence of infection surfaced
localized on her three year old throat
But her journey into silence had already begun….

Your body is alive
But no one told you what you’d feel
The empty aching hours

psycho babble at prestigious John Hopkins
battery of tests spits out an number
what does an IQ mean anyhow?
the conclusion, she was a manipulatior
jealous of the attention given her retarded brothers
“Don’t let her take the easy way out”
the experts advice taken as gospel oath
mother and father disbelieving her truth,
she really couldn’t hear
but her voice was met with silence…..

They don’t listen to your reasons
As original as sin
Deny all that you feel
And they will bring you home again

new kid on the block
a school for those who could not hear
culture shock for a precoccious 7 year old
wanting so badly to belong
in the same class as 10-12 year olds
they were jealous of the teacher’s pet
so they bullied, taunted, and oscratized
“kids will be kids” her parents dismissed her tears
planting the seeds of her own personal Columbine
but she chose the way of silence….

The natural progression
Is the coming of your age
But they cover it with shame
And turn it into rage

she became an island in the midst
of endless eddys of conversation
at family meals, gatherings, watching tv
that silently swirled over her head
her lipreading and quick intelligence
grasping and filling gaps in the voiced words
like an never ending jigsaw puzzle
she was a part of the family
yet not a part of the family
in the world of her silence…..

You are digging for the answers
Until your fingers bleed
To satisfy the hunger
To satisfy the need

she grew older, living her life
the way her parents wanted her to
no sign language allowed, pity was unheard of
softball superstar each summer
high school diploma, college diploma
reaching higher and further than her early deaf peers
her parents love and approval assured
but she was ever on the fence
not completely belonging to the hearing world
nor to the silent world of the deaf…..

They feed you on their guilt
To keep you humble keep you low
Some man and myth they made up
A thousand years ago

she knew from an early age she was lesbian
so terrified of discovery and disapproval
she did not emerge from the closet for a long time
she pretended to have crushes on boys
for her mother so loved making dresses
for the few school dance dates her daughter had
she never once heard her father say, “You’re pretty”
soon the “when are you going to get married”s died away
she treasured her secret crushes and fantasies of other women
keeping them locked in the silence of her heart….

Mothers tell your children
Be quick you must be strong
Life is full of wonder
Love is never wrong

she hid her first lover for five years
embracing the “dont ask, dont tell” dogma
until the day arrived that she outed herself
mother and father said, “we’re not surprised”
“why didn’t you trust us enough to tell us?”
anger and the tears exploded in counter accusation
“why didn’t you trust me enough to ask?”
and she realized just how many bricks it had taken
stretching back through the years of her life
to build that wall of silence
and who taught her to find the bricks in the first place….

Once they gave you the answers
Now they give you hell
Remember how they taught you
How much of it was fear

she has been out of the closet all these years since that day
things have been and will never be the same
they taught her too well how to be silent
and they taught her too well how fickle trust can be
she is now at a mid-life crisis, perhaps
but definitely rebelling against their silence and their guilt
finding that inner child to set her free from her silence
finding a healther and stronger way to trust…
then maybe, just maybe…..forgiveness will be found….
And the wall of silence will tumble down at last….

The legacy stops here
Oh, my child……
And as you pray in your darkness
For wings to set you free
You are bound to your silent legacy

© L. Kupfer
all rights reserved

itacilized verses borrowed from “Silent Legacy” by Melissa Etheridge

Thank You, M’Lady, for sharing this with me
~ Lynn ~

Quietly
Without needing to speak …
Without wanting to struggle …
My heart yielded
No battle
Conquered subject I -
I surrendered
… not to greater strength
but to the hungry flame
that even now
Burns
… aching and gnawing …
from within
Insistent …
Demanding to be fed
Silently
Without needing to force …
Without wanting to rush …
You reached inside,
Holding life in Your hand …
Sustaining me ..
I did not resist,
Though reason cried I should!
Gently
Without needing to gloat…
Without wanting to frighten…….
You took me,
Claiming and treasuring
What I surrendered as Yours……
Opened to You
….willingly
….completely
….obediently
With quiet resolve
You reached inside my soul
To answer the hunger
And lead me where I’ve never been
….soaring
….loving
….trusting
……..knowing
Quietly

©S. Ranea Noha-Wright
All rights reserved

©L. Kupfer